One MORE Week

One more week and i am going to be on my way to Thailand... You ask me if i am scared. Maybe. I am scared right now of going through all the airport things. I dont like getting people angry or standing in-line for along time, but i guess if i really want to be going do something amazing i will put up with all that. I am a little scared that i will not be able to communicate with people right to the point that i am upsetting them, but i guess if i want to ministry them i just have to learn. Them last thing that i am scared about is coming back... I already know that i am not going to want to come back after everything that i am going to be doing. It is a little scary to me that i have to come back to everything that i have to do. There seems so much. Last year of school, Kids Church, and one thing that been on my mind alot and i wish that it was not but finding someone to be with . Right now i am at my best friend Jamie house getting read for her wedding this is the four wedding of a great friend that i am in. it just seems like everyone is just getting married.. I know that i am only 19 but still... No One. i had a great night last night with my best friend Jon but i am not sure if that will work we are two different people, but i did always wish that i could be with someone that play a guitar and he is amazing musican but i dont know... i dont know if i can be anymore then friends. Well we will see :)... But one more year then i am done.. ON MY OWN... i feel like i need to find someone but you know.. LOL i want to try this life thing bymyself. lol .... Well maybe i am just going to have to find someone working in a orphange that i am going to be working at. LOL... I tell you as soon as i find him.. he is waiting for me.. BUT THREE year ooooooooooaaaaaaaaaa.... soon... Love you all 

byes

Tomorrow is to mor row and today is to day ...

Sick... today I was planing on starting a fasted till God wanted me to stop.. to find myself sick in bed all day.. I wish that i was not sick.. this is silly but i am take type of person that said WHY... why am i sick right now.. or not feeling good with no reason.. is God trying to show me something or is God telling me something, or maybe it is the devil stopping me from starting something that might be good for me.. i dont know.. laying on my bed right now... i know what i need to do.. but am i doing it for the right reason... 

I dont know...

God give me understand right now as i go back to bed for the night since i already sleeped like for ever.... Tomorrow is to mor row and today is to day so it is all in the way that you look at it.. so God let me find that new I D EA... 

Thinking of the after before even came

BREATH.....

so more and more the trip to Thailand is coming up more and more that i am not able to sleep at night.. i know that i need to start being more rested so that God can use me, but i just cant fall asleep at night..

I dont know if i am more weird about going to Thailand or what is going to happen when i come home.. there is so much to look for after coming back... 

Going back to school for my last year

I am going to be close to my best friend in School

I am going to be the Full-time children's pastor

And on top of that my church is moving MAYBE into a new place which is going to give me more freedom to do what i want to do

there is so much... moving into amazing room, maybe getting appartment..

hanging with someone that i could see myself being with there is so much..

But i think of everything after and what is before all that..

AND THAT is what i really need to focus on... Thailand...

Dear God give me the time and give me the ability to think of thailand and not everything after..

there is so much that i need to get ready for Thailand and i just cant help myself looking at everything else then that..

I need to get ready

Starting on the 27 of May I am going to go on a fast till God tells me other wise... I need to the strength to do this because Pray and Reading my Bible is so hard for me... My worship to God is Doing it not sitting and talking to God which i know is something that i need to work on and this is going to be the time to do it... Three Meals a day Three times to get on my knees and pray...

Time: Of understanding Peace

Peace... Peace of God.. the Peace that i wish i could understand. Today i wake up feeling that i need some peace. I had a hard time last night sleeping because of the dreams that i was have last night. I should have woke up and prayed but my body couldn't. So this morning i got up and knew that i had to do. Read the Bible, and everything else God gave us to figure out this peace thing. I will figure out how to get peace. 

First thing i did was put on Worship music and already i felt peace. Peace must be in Music. Music that is praise to God and not to this world. As i look at the music we listen now a days and it is not pleasing to God at all. We need to get rid of everything that is not gloryifying to God because God made music and music is one thing that i can not live without. I feel that we i listen to Music that is not praiseworthy of God, i get in all this modes but I want to be like the people in that song but they are not really living a peaceful life do they..? I dont think so at all because the only one that can give you peace is God. Romans 8:6 says " If your sinful nature controls your mind. there is death. But if the Holy Spirit controls your mind, there is life and PEACE." AMEN. Music that is pleasing to him being my un-peaceful-ness to a stand still and it raise him up at the same time he raise me up John 14:27 Says Peace leave with you, My peace I I give to you: not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. Hillsong United There is No One Else for Me other then Jesus. It is a great line in this line of peace.Because their is no one else that can bring you peace other then God himself or someone that also found the peace of God. Good song to listen to right now : it "STILL" by hillsong When the Ocean Raise Thurders Roar.... that song.. I will be Still and know that you are GOD.

In my search to find peace in my life. I read the first chapter of Be STILL MY SOUL moments of Peace: I was bring that God is the one that bring peace to us. But it when we seek peace in our lives do we really find peace. It also says that Peace is Peace passed. If i have the peace of God in my life, dont hide it but show it to other that need peace in their lives. God will being the peace when we rejoice and think on gOOD THINGS of this world. In my last sermon, I talked about Rejoice in the Lord and he will being the peace of God, Rejoicing in the Lord is thinking on God and God is a good thing and at the end of the verse in Philippines 4: 4- 9 in 8 it says whatever is..... this are the thing that bring us peace in our lives. So rejoice in the Lord is one way to find the peace of God. So thinking, reading, listening, walking in good place, protecting our minds is good think to do to find the peace of God.

So Listening

Thinking on good things

Read good things like the Bible. Will being us closer to God which is peace

PRAYING will being us peace as well because we are thinking on things that are good Beth Moore Said "Prayer guards hearts and minds and causes God to bring peace out of choas" Praying that all i have to say. Prayer is something that brings you closer a intimate relationship with God. It says in Philippines 4:6 it says to not worry about anything (that means everything in your life everything) but in PRAYER God will give you peace through fellowship and understand what you need to do but also if you present things that you want to do God will give you a answer for them.  

Peace is in all these things. I know right now i am asking God for peace in my desicion- making today and i know that he will being me peace for everything else to day, but i need to ask, to pray, to worship him, to focus on him, and the good things of the day.. like the outside which i will be doing must of the day ... So read and be full of Peace... SPREAD the PEACE

Before: PRAYer

8:40- We left for VFCC 

8:50- Stop for a Drink

9:30- Stop to charge My phone in a Gas Station Bathroom ( FUN)

11:25- Made it back

11:30- Convinced Ryun to Let us in Biesel for a visit

12:45- Found J, Got into the apartment

12:45-2:30- talked it up with Jason and Gina

2:30- COULD NOT SLEEP

3:00- WENT FOR A DRIVE

Did you ever realize that time is ticking away and you can't do anything about it then watch and play it out. It is like God has this big time line of our lives that we didn't even know of. He was like 

Abbey will:

4:00- come back from the drive

4:15- watch the office

5:00- try to sleep

5:30-9:30- SLEEP

And it keeps on going, going, and going.... 

We all can make schedules in our life daily, but shouldn't we ask the one God that has our whole schedule laid out every daily for help before we make our schedules. 

9:33-9:36- Try to figure out how to keep my Charge for not falling out of the wall.....

We worry so much about how we are going to live life when life for us is already figure out by God and he is the only one that can really help us figure everything out. For example, Last semester i was trying to figure out where i was going to do my internship over sea. First, i said to myself i am going to do this my own... i tried.. YOU should have seen me it was like i was running around with my head cut off. and just knowing my personality, i was probably make God laugh 24-7 all . But i keep going....o i tried finding places to go and always said to myself and others" God told me to Go there..." and then it would fall through.. and the first place that offered me to go was a missionary that was amazing but she was in Thailand and i wanted to go to Africa, so i was like thanks but I KNOW that God called me to Africa i am going... I try more and more... FOR REAl this would make amazing comedy.. well for God ad-least.. So i try more and every where i tried i failed still, and ONE DAY I was like OK GOD... I don't know ANYMORE.. HELP ME.. and that when everything came into place, The missionary in Thailand told me that she would LOVE for me to come and was hoping i would.. AFTER THAT my time line was the same time line as God so everything came into place.. Even though the time line were the same the whole time because God knew that i was going to make this comical detour, but it was still off of the over all STORY. 

I am so amazing that God can us things like Sermon for a preaching class to really touch your heart and apply it more.. my last and final sermon in one of my more favorite class this semester for Philippines 4:4-9 

 4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

The part that i am feeling that this Comical Story in my life right now.. is 6 

DonT BE ANXIOUS about anything MEAN not just about the BIG THINGS like Life decisions but EVERYTHING {your daily MIND schedule}

... then it says, but in EVERYTHING WITH PRAYER AND PETITION ... HA.. yep it said it the prayer and petition.. He wants us to be on the same page as him that way in everything that we do we need to Pray it up with God and THEN he will show you your TimeLine..

9:55-10:00 Read my blog to Andrea

10:00-10:05- Talk to Andrea

Why be anxious when God is already on the Ball with things... He will guide you and give you peace about everything in our life.. All you need to do is PRAY it up DAILY... and not just daily but HOURLY... AMEN

10:10- End Blog --- PRAYING.... 

After the PK incident..

So today was a fun day.. going to the beach to beach meet up with Kyle going to the Green Turtle it was ok... then we went to the beach.. Kyle threaded to through my keys into the water.. but the only thing that went into the water was  my CAMARA... aaaaaaa it was so bad... we were taking a walk on the Ocean City Beach when we saw a Bird carry a pufferfish to the sand.. so i was mad at the bird so we scared him away.. and the Kyle was saving the Fish for me.. by throwing it back into the water which proceed to move back to the land again.. i was so sad that i cried... in the end the bird (o that PK (puffer Killer) got it... but it was still Kyle was a PS PufferSaver.. lol but ok so i went back after the PK got the P and found that our flip-flops were to close to the water so i reached down to get them and didn't realized that my cam. fell into the water.. I was like where is my cam. and drea said i dont have it, and kyle was like not me.. And then I saw it.. MY Poor cam. being rocked by the wave that keep coming and making my cam. fill with water. I GRABED it and took the Memory Card out hoping that i can save the pictures that i took. but right now ... NOPE and i am not sure... but we will find out later.. Still it was a good night but a cam. is a thing and memories will last more then that Cam could.. 

Time: FEEDING

As a little kid,  You dont have anything to worry about other then if my stomach is hungry, i am going to cry. Yesturday as we were coming back from the Mall this Andrea's little niece and Pam.. Gracey (HAPPYBIRTHDAY she just turned 1) started to get hungry and started to cry with a non-stopping cry. She was crying and there was no stopping her. As i looked at her, her mom asked me if she was borthing me with her cries because she was not going to stop crying till she got food which was home. Pam and Andrea said that she just fazed her cries out, afterawhile i did the same thing, will tried. That when the socking in God's present stop:                              God showed me right there, this is your soul(Me, the Lord) CRYING OUT TO YOU.. TRYING to get YOU attention... But you look at me, and then look away and just faze me OUT. I am hungry for everything or anything that you have for me now because i am still young and growing with you but you need to feed me.  It is true being in the VFCC style you are going to chapel everyday more days in the week they you wish but you go and you are being feed little by little, but outside of school you have to do it on your own. I found out that was a little hard for me to do last time i came home from school. But this time... i feel ready for the feed daily... so that my soul dont cry out like little Gracy in the backseat of the car not knowing when she was going to get fed. 

Thanks Gracey. .... She is so cute look at her....

After.. the soak

Yesterday was one of those day were i didn't know what to do with my self other then follow the flow. I wrote the last blog with crying tears because i was not sure about a lot of things. After a pray from my friend and TOTAL soak with God in the car and through out my day, i felt so much better to the point that i woke up this morning with a song in my heart. It was a good feeling. Now i am going through my day it is about 10:23 and i wonder if we will ever leave this house today. Plan are: going to the bethany beach, till 1:30 and then to wawa for lunch and then to OC to meet up with Kyle. This should be fun... Bath suit on, camera changered, music prefect, LETS GO....

The Time: before the...

This morning, I woke up finding myself at this point where i don't know if i am truly ready to go to this Thailand trip, and i am scared. No focusing on God is something that i have been Not doing. This past weekend i wanted to focus on God with pray, but i finally i realized that i never really had a pray relationship with him. I put myself to the point were i am distracting myself with things like relationship, music, and worrying. I felt that everything that i was doing because i was so stressed and being pulled every way. Right now i just need to be by myself with God .....

After: the school

So i am officially a senior of Valley Forge Christian College. It is excited that day that i put down my pencil to my Theology II test and said goodbye to my junior year. It was a pretty good semester you can say with everything going crazy in my life. 5 a's and b and C. Yeah that C was the only that i am really like OK work got into my school work. I did my best with what i got you know and i have a lot of stressful moments but i still had fun. That C was a Bomb the two things that much a A(test) That were 25% each of my grade and then get a A+ on the last test to being my score to a High C (lol). I am happy with the other class that i got a A in because i love them so much. For the fact of you knowing: I would not be blogging right now if it was not for my class with Prof. Reese that made us blog weekly for a grade. it was a good year to say the least. I found out that life is not easy when you add everything but yourself to it. Have four job and full time student is not good for you at all. It was truly experience to do at the places i worked and if it was not for some of those place i would have never meet some of the people that i meet that brought something to my table of experience. For example, working as a part-time-er at the River of life church i would have not been able to one have a work after school and two pray and money support for my trip to thailand. Or working at Bob's, if i didn't work there i would have not being involved with non-vfcc-christian-people. If i didn't take on working with photography i would not see that i need to do things that i like to do and not things that i have to do. Trainers job was one of the jobs that i enjoy the most it showed me that i am able to help people that are in need... and that why i want to become a nurse. So you can see that with school and the life application ( jobs) i had a good year. One thing i don't miss is the Stress of everything one of the stress that were hard was balancing ministry and work. I had a couple weeks were i could not be there for homeless ministry because i was so behind in work because i worked to much... or the other thing was sleeping and eating. Stress makes me not eat or sleep or work out:( so i felt horrible later, but now that i am out of everything i am RELAXING... and no it is not the abbey relaxing( ten min naps) it is the don't care don't need dont worry relax. it is quiet nice to do nothing. When plans fell through to go to MO my BFF Drea told me to come to her house which is next the beach but also a place were NO ONE knows me. QUIET. It really nice to be here. But i know once we leave DL then i am going to be run and drive everywhere . So many weddings to go to.. i just hope that i can look nice for them. this time after: school, is something that i need to get ready for the time that i dont have